well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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