i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
