Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
