but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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