my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
