I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
