the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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