My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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