I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
