dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
