You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
