There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
