Soap is not a condiment
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
