I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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