i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
