Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
