Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
