We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
