I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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