i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
