Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
