So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
