Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
