Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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