oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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