i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
