just come out here and I will go home with you...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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