Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
