my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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