her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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