Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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