hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
