So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
