Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
