Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
