I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
