Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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