my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
