he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
