So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
