Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
