Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
