I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
