So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
