just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i out mim tonsoeep
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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