Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
