i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
