And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
