I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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