i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
