i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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