Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
