Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
