genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize