I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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