You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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