I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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