If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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