your thong is hanging out like whoa
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
