so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Two words: blizzard sex
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
