just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
