as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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