white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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