Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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