It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How's work?
Spinning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
