My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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