I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
