Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You can't just leave with hair like that
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
