Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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