ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
