I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
